Longing for June

Blustery winds, start of school
Autumn is nobody's fool

Chilly hands, numb fingers
in the Winter cold lingers

Wet feet, soggy toes
in the Spring these are your woes

But Summertime is most divine
Beaches,ice cream and sunshine

Able Mabel

Mabel had a special talent
her arms and legs were rubber
she could stretch them like elastic
and wibble them like blubber

They came in very handy
when her mother locked them out
she'd squeeze her arms through the letter box
and twist the lock about

But in the middle of the night
she'd twist and turn in bed
and wake up in the morning
with her arms tied round her head

Bold Blue

Chelsea Blue
was happy to
be teased about her nose

She didn't care
the girls would dare
to say it was a hose

It's part of me
she said plainly
an' will always be on show

Feather clouds

It was a record breaking fight
British kids it did excite
pillows split to their delight
and feathers did block out the light

Fluff Happy

Fluff Happy was afflicted with
a gaseous behind
it was the most explosive
you could ever hope to find

Wherever he did go he cracked
the most repellent farts
so toxic and so smelly
people fled to other parts

He tried so hard to change his ways
stopped eating sprouts and beans
but no matter what he did
his bum was still a fart machine

Trees and bushes began to wilt
people's hair fell out
nothing within fifty miles
of Fluff would ever sprout

Til one day an inventor
said that Fluff could be a source
his bum could power factories
and save the planet, of course!

Flat Kat

There once was a girl called Katticus
who thought she was a platypus
she jumped in a pool
oh my what a fool
with no water inside she was SPLATypus

View from the top

Little box floating on high
tell me what you see
mushroom clouds above
and below it deep blue sea

Little box, your digital eye
encased in a silver suit
destined for the stratosphere
photographs to shoot

Little box with Space above
a lonely traveller too
the cusp of Earth within your sights
wish I was there with you

Bill the beetle

Bill the beetle travelled
quite a long way from his home
inside a box of bananas
for so long he did roam

A giant of the rainforest
an endangered little bug
when he arrived in London
people there could only shrug

It was a shock that he survived
the chemicals and cold
but hardbacked Bill was mighty tough
with guts that made him bold

From there he went to Cambridge
and into an insect zoo
where keepers could make sure
that old Bill made a friend or two

A divine game

They didn't know what caused the hail
the size of balls blown with the gale
but up on high throughout the day
the gods above, golf they did play

Fly me to the moon

There was a boy called Willie Fry
who unlike others he could fly
day by day he would try
to fly higher into the sky

His efforts made him mighty proud
when once he reached a fluffy cloud
atop he stood and he avowed
"Moon next" he cried, happy and loud

Launching into deep, dark space
he finally reached his happy place
the moon that only had one face
where he could rest with eternal grace

Bonebreaker

There once was a boy called Jones
who wanted to break all his bones
when he snapped a wee toe
the pain began to show
and his sister cried "go break your own"

Cloud climber

There once was a boy called Stroud
who loved climbing so much he felt proud
when stood on a mountain top
he didn't want to stop
so he hitched a lift up on a cloud

SAVE A LIFE

It doesn't take a lot you know
to help someone today
five pounds for a meshed bed net
to keep malaria at bay

You can help to save a life
the old, the young, the poor
they deserve the chance to live
to feel the pain no more

Please donate to Sport Relief. Every little helps!

Thank you

Adrenaline junkie squirrel

There once was a squirrel called Toestar
who loved riding roller coasters
he was banned from the rides
but Toestar he defied
cos he couldn't read the warning poster

Lucky bones

Lucky Bones was a ghost with the most
he would haunt the live long day
and though he was alone in his church
he much preferred it that way

But year by year the church grew old
its stone crumbling to sand
and before Lucky could stop it
his church was long lost to the land

For decades after he wandered around
looking for a new home
but because he was all alone
he knew solo he'd roam

Dog's dinner

There once was a dog called Rymond
who ate a twelve thousand pound diamond
when it came out of his tummy
it was worth so much money
his owner could buy all of Ireland

The witch of Manorly Coast

Johnny was obsessed with ghosts
until one foggy night
he camped out at Manorly Coast
and got a nasty fright

Legend told of ghosts and ghouls
that moaned and wailed and wooed
and a witch, ugly and cruel,
that turned you to worm food

Johnny was too curious
he had to know the truth
but the witch was furious
to see him beneath her roof

Upon his sight she cast a spell
with eyes a fiery glow
and on his knees poor Johnny fell
into her lair below

When he woke he was on fours
with aching, snarling teeth
and giant paws with gleaming claws
he happily unsheathed

The witch knew not what she had done
when he sliced off her head
and dumped it in a cauldron
and proclaimed the witch was dead

Moan Joan

There was a young girl called Joan
who did nothing each day but moan
she annoyed all her friends
drove them right round the bend
so they left moan Joan all on her own

Buds of Spring

Little seedling we do sow
into the ground for it to grow
a little water, a little sun
that's all you need your work is done

Day by day a little more
your shoots and leaves begin to soar
flower buds begin to bloom
and wash away the winter gloom

Talk of the town

There once was a rabbit called Hattie
who was so persistently chatty
she sat in her hutch
and chatted so much
the other rabbits all called her batty

Mr Scruffles

Mr Scruffles, baby miracle
the elephant with no beat
till the day that he was born
and death it appears he did cheat

House of cards

Inglebert was an eccentric
who lived in a house of cards
until a stiff wind blew it
down the road five hundred yards

Hughie the cutie

Hughie was a Kune Kune
living on a farm
he had his own special pen
so he wouldn't come to harm

The other pigs around him
were jealous of his beauty
he attracted so much attention
everybody called him 'Cutie'

Then one night when it was dark
the pigs plotted and schemed
they broke into poor Hughie's pen
and made little Hughie scream

His curly tail quivered and shook
and he backed against a stone wall
as the pigs approached lightening struck
and made bacon out of them all

To pee or not to pee

Bruno was a naughty dog
when his owners were at work
on Monday's in the kitchen
he dined on Sunday's roast pork

He didn't know he had done wrong
he did it all the time
he just wanted to fill his tum
how could that be a crime

But afterwards another urge
took hold of his weak mind
he needed it as much as food
water, he had to find

His own dish it was licked bone dry
but knew where there was water
he stuck his head in the toilet bowl
and drank more than he oughta

When he was full he felt a tingle
that made him hop and prance
the only way he could relieve it
was to pee on his mum's plants

When am I?

Halley's comet passed on by
so clearly visible to the eye
it was embroidered in a tapestry
so centuries later the world could see

Then in October at Hastings
old Harold got a right pasting
he had no idea he would die
from an arrow in the eye

Upon his death the Duke of Normandy
was crowned England's King on Christmas day
he reclaimed what he though was his
and so ended the dark ages

Can you guess what year this is
in my little history quiz?

Dot and stripes

Dotty was a little white horse
alone in a herd of Zebra
she wanted to be accepted of course
and roam with them on the savannah

But Dotty lacked the deep black stripe
to mingle with the herd
they said she wasn't quite the type
they said she looked absurd

But one day it hit her with a smack
the answer lay in the wallow
she painted mud stripes across her back
and the herd finally let her follow

Where am I?

I'm on a living mountain
with an internal fountain
which in seventy-nine AD
exploded mightily

On the coast of Italy
it destroyed homes terribly
killed up to twenty thousand
and lasted nineteen hours

It has two angry sisters
both earthly blisters
on islands near
they too are feared

So where am I
where I might die
can you guess
this natural abscess

Chicken fight

George and Mildred had enough
their poor life was mighty tough
every night a fox appeared
who filled them with feather-trembling fear

They huddled by each others side
looking for a place to hide
from the fox's beady eyes
eyeing them as a prize

Then one night George took a stand
he wanted to get the upper hand
so when the fox, to his cage, came near
George reached out his neck and pecked its ear

What am I?

I live high
up in the sky
I'm a solid mound
going round and round

There's nine of me
celestial beauty
some solid mass
some made of gas

I'm far away
in the Milky Way
round a hot star
I always travel far

Can you guess
more or less
what I am
from this exam?

A bum deal

There was a boy who was a Prince
he wasn't smart he was quite dense
in exchange for a quid
his sister did give
nothing more than a rusty one pence

Who am I?

Hidden beneath a golden mask
concealed by sand and time
a young boy was finally found
but was his death a crime?

Unearthed in twenty-two
surrounded by solid gold
the unfortunate ruler
died only eighteen years old

Then in twenty-ten
blood tests found out why
he wasn't murdered
he was poisoned by a fly