Jabba

Pet in the vet,
old and worn,
do I set him free
to heavenly roam?

Third world

Kevin built a time machine
not bad for a tall, spotty teen
every night instead of sleep
he'd make a distant space time leap
seeing things in his future
wondering if he's rich or poor
but one night he travelled too far
and saw the death of the sun star
a mighty bang he did see
a chance to start world number three

Little record

Swishing tail
and tiny hooves
now listed in the record books

Could he be
the smallest horse?
according to Guinness of course

Either way
he is too cute
little pinto Brute

Gilbert and Gerty

Gilbert was laid on the grass
sadly his long life had past
Gerty wouldn't leave her mate
knowing what would be his fate

Crows approached with greedy eyes
but Gerty she was much too wise
she stood beside him faithfully
and fended off the black bullies

They lunged at her, their beaks were wide
hoping to peck at his hide
but Gerty jumped into the air
and whacked them with her tail of hair

You might think she was mighty large
to be able to take such charge
but don't be fooled by your mind
it was a squirrel that was kind

Fur..evenge

In a land turned upside down
humans didn't wear the crown
all those years subservient
animals were discontent

Tired of being stripped down bare
just so humans wear their hair
animals now in control
turned the tables on their role

Sitting meek below the chain
humans now no longer vain
made to atone for their deep sin
for animals now wear their skin

Run in the sun

Jelly beans and telephones
lots of people jarring bones
start to finish, it's a race
who is going to set the pace

Young and old, tall and small
come together, one and all
Tower bridge and Cutty Sark
they all love this running lark

Some will finish down the Mall
others they may just fall
but no matter how many start
the best thing is just taking part

Sleight of hand

Cally had always been repulsed by the withered hand her father kept in a glass box. It looked like a giant, wrinkled spider. She hated spiders.
"Why do you have to keep that thing?" she said, slumped over one of the tables in her father's pub, staring at it with a disapproving eye.
"Because it's part of the history of 'The Highwayman's Inn. It brings in visitors; and visitors mean money," her father huffed.
"I don't like it. It's creepy and just plain weird that people want to come here to see a severed hand," she retorted, turning to look through the window at the blizzard raging outside across the moorland.
"Not just any severed hand."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. It belonged to Red Crow, the notorious rogue gambler who had his hand chopped off for cheating the pub landlord out of five guineas," Cally recounted like a mantra.
No sooner had she said it there was a sudden smash behind the bar. Both her and her dad leapt back in fright.
"What was that?" Cally quivered.
"It was just a bottle," replied her dad. "It must have been unstable on the shelf."
Cally sat back on one of the wooden chairs, her heart thumping in her chest. She turned to look back at the thing in the glass case, only to find the door to the case open and the hand missing.

Queenie

There once was a girl called Queenie
who was a troublesome genie
she lived in a lamp
that was so terribly cramped
it squished her til she was quite teeny

A cure for snoring

There once was a boy called Torr
who every night he did snore
in total despair
his sister grabbed his hair
and dragged him into the house next door

Sticky Willy

There once was a boy called Willy
who was so incredibly sticky
he spent all his days
rolling in stones and hay
but found picking them off was quite tricky

Freestyle mutt

Little dancer
furry paws
if he had feathers
he would soar

Graceful doggie
he's a winner
if he keeps on going
he'll be gettin' thinner

He does salsa
he does ballet
adding ballroom
to his tally

Wish my talent
could compete
but I'm cursed with having
two bungling left feet

Born to be wild

There are in the Highlands
wandering wild
the last of the big cats
meek and mild

They skulk in the shadows
timorously
so quiet and quick
nobody can see

Like oversized tabbys
with blunt,stubby tails
and enough attitude
to put them in jail

With razor sharp claws
to bring down their prey
and a lethal bite
so forever they lay

They run at speeds
of thirty miles an hour
like African tigers
with explosive power

But less than four hundred
live in Scotland today
let's do what we can
so they don't go away

Splat the rat

There once was a boy called Pat
who had a pet rat called Splat
til one day in a rage
he left open its cage
and Splat was eaten by Pat's cat

Face in a mountain

A face in the mountain
looking down from up high
a gaping mouth
and wide open eyes

A roar in the morning
spewing dust in the air
that floated far from
its cold island lair

Then all was silent
the giant was calm
refusing to do
the world more harm

It sunk back below
taking its ash spray
ready to roar
on some other day

An unfortunate incident

There once was a boy called Brefyl
who often was very forgetful
when he got to his school
he felt quite the fool
forgetting to dress was regretful

A croaky problem

There once was a man called Morse
whose voice was incredibly hoarse
it took time to work out
what was causing this bout
but a frog in his throat was the source

The great escape

Forty years ago
three men flew into space
but on the second day
trouble they did face

There was a loud bang
onboard their spaceship
that signalled the end
of their planned moon trip

But all wasn't well
whilst floating high up there
the loud bang meant their ship
was running out of air

The men in Houston with
time ticking away fast
made a device that meant
the air inside would last

On the edge of their seat
the world did wait
wondering what would be
the astronauts fate

Everybody's prayers
were answered luckily
they all came home safe
to fly some another day

A fishy tale

There once was a girl called Trish
whose favourite pet was a fish
she loved it a ton
and dreamed to be one
one morn she woke and got her wish

Collection of scabs

What do you do with your scabs
when you pick them from your skin
flick them at annoying girls
or stick them in the bin

Or perhaps you store them in a jar
to compare with your best mate
who'll claim he had far more
that your little jar of eight

Or maybe you just sprinkle them
over your sister's beans
trying to repulse her
by any way or means

But whatever you do with them
never must you fear
as long as you have cuts and scraps
your scabs will heal you clear

Pretty Paris

When Paris Harris bat her lashes
boys came flocking to her side
they buzzed like bees around her
there was nowhere she could hide

'Oh woe is me' she said plainly
'for this affliction set on me,
to have a face so pretty
everybody wants to see'

But then one day a stranger
walked bold into her math class
a new girl who went by the name
of Becky-Lee Bluegrass

Becky-Lee with tight blonde curls
and eyes of sparkling blue
stole all the boys' advances
and made Paris number two

Brave little Kevin

Kevin was a Tawny Owl
who was afraid to fly
it wasn't that he couldn't
he didn't like to be so high

His owner tried in vain
taking Kevin out each day
but when he let him go
Kevin wouldn't fly away

Then one day Kevin's mate
the feisty Barn Owl, Kyra
zoomed off on her daily hunt
and got tangled in telephone wire

Kevin panicked at the sight
of Kyra in distress
and dug down deep into his soul
for courage he possessed

She flapped and flailed
and squealed and squawked
til Kevin bold as brass
flew out like a brave hawk

'Don't worry, Kyra,' Kevin cried
trying not to look below
he flapped his wings and clenched his beak
to save his gung-ho beau

'You are so brave,' said Kyra, true
'to overcome your fear.'
'I'd do anything,' Kevin said
'to save your life, my dear.'

The phantom hand

A fleshy, pulsing, living hand
crept across the floor
and climbed up to a handle
to open the lounge door

Its goal? to find a body
to graft itself upon
longing to revive
a life that was long gone

It used its spindly fingers
to climb high up the stairs
hoping for an answer
to its nightly prayers

Cracked and dirty
finger nails
grabbing at
the staircase rails

Scratching varnish
from the wood
scuttling
as fast as it could

At a doorway
hand stopped dead
breathing sounds
came from a bed

But as it crept
into the room
it roused the person
from its tomb

Sleepy eyes
so wide and clear
makes the hand
now disappear

Canteen chaos

It started with an accident
Kay slipped on orange jelly
her dinner tray flew through the air
and landed on Bill's belly

He was angry at being smeared
with chips and tomato sauce
so what do you think he did?
retaliate, of course

Bill grabbed a dumpling in his hand
threw it across the room
where it splattered on the head
of Catriona Bloom

Catriona screamed and swept
the trays off her dinner table
sending glasses of ribena
spraying over Mabel

Mabel leapt up on her feet
it gave her quite a fright
but then a smile drew on her face
and screeched 'lunchtime food fight'

The furry king

When Rupert the first of Amberland
sadly passed away
in his will he declared his heir
was the dog he took in as a stray

Pixie was scruffy, his body was bald
a tuft of hair grew on his head
the poor little dog had little idea
what would happen in the days ahead

Rupert's son was quite displeased
with his father's choice
he yelled and screamed and stamped his feet
no-one would hear his voice

So one night the human prince
crept up on Pixie's bed
but before he could unleash his wrath
Pixie awoke and fled

Cowered in a little nook
out of sight he stayed
until the royal military
took the prince away

The townsfolk they all cried with joy
they loved King Rupert dear
and were delighted to have
little Pixie as their heir

Carrot top

Suki Bonner bet her brother
to eat carrots for a week
Ramsay Bonner was quite honoured
to prove he wasn't meek

Determindly and quite gladly
he took on the great challenge
but ate so much, like a rabbit in a hutch
his skin turned bright orange

Mutiny of the bunny

The easter bunnies had enough
of carrying their eggs
so heavy were they in their bags
they tired out their legs

So mutiny they did one year
refused to do their work
collected all the eggs
and considered them a perk

With buddha bellies they sat proud
full till they were sick
chocolate coated whiskers
with their tongues they did lick

Though they were proud of their haul
they felt so awfully guilty
about the children who lost out
on their Easter booty

Kermit the hermit

Kermit was a hermit
who lived inside a shell
he wouldn't come outside
until someone rang his bell

He didn't have friends
or any family
he lived all alone
feeling melancholy

Then one day the churning sea
washed him out of his house
where he met another hermit
who became his lifelong spouse

Breakaway

T'was the night of April Fool
when the weather turned somewhat cool
the whipping wind began to howl
the lashing rain was truly fowl

The coast of little Andrews town
was beat so hard that it did drown
from cresting waves of foaming steel
they washed away Hardy the seal

Laurel, she was mighty sad
swimming alone in her pool pad
til Hardy leapt out of the sea
to the sound of Laurel's plea

Like a silver bullet he
sacrificed a life at sea
and cried out in a joyful tone
"I'll never leave you all alone."

Is it true?

Reported on the news today
a new planet found far away
beyond the shores of old Pluto
a gassy mass with a fiery pink glow

No-one knew that it was there
to find one was extremely rare
who dropped it down into the sky
circling round the sun on high

Jagged bolts of lightening fire
into space for you to admire
on the surface Squidgits roam
looking for a squidgy home

Is it false or is it true?
can you tell me if it's new?