Blessings or curses

Jamie jammed on the brakes of his mother's car as he turned into Lakeview Road. He wasn't quick enough. The tyres hit a patch of black ice. They juddered beneath him and then set the car into a freestyle glide. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't regain control. 'Turn into the slide' was what he'd been told to do if he ever skidded, but the words were lost on him now. They never even entered his head. His mind was blank, his body tense with fear. He gripped at the steering wheel, his knuckles white, as the screams of his younger brother pierced the chill of the evening. The car spun round, crashed through a wooden fence and rolled down, down into the icy lake below. That was all he remembered.
When he awoke he was lying down. All around him was misty white. Was he in heaven?
He looked down and saw his arms bandaged, his body hooked up to bleeping and blinking machines by a criss cross of tubes and wires. Had he been abducted by aliens? Was he being tested on? Was he dreaming?
A woman in dressed in white, with a white cap on her head suddenly appeared at his feet. She examined a clipboard, then looked across the bed at Jamie. She smiled warmly, comfortingly. "Wakey, wakey," she said.
Before Jamie had a chance to reply an image flashed through his mind. It was an image of a blonde woman, with a tattoo of a crab on her wrist. She was stepping into the path of an oncoming bus. Jamie jerked in his bed so severely he almost wrenched the drip from his arm.
The woman ran round the bed and placed her hands reassuringly on his shoulder. "You okay there," she said
"I think so," Jamie mumbled, slumping back against his bed, not feeling at all sure what he'd just seen. Was it a memory?
The woman reached down and took Jamie's wrist between her fingers, obviously feeling for his pulse. Jamie peered down the length of his arm, watching her and noticed, to his horror an outline drawing etched into her skin. It was a crab.
Jamie stared at her wrist, wide-eyed.
"You have a strong pulse," said the woman. "You're going to be just fine."
Jamie looked away. He tried to focus his mind on something other than the disturbing vision in his head, but ended up focusing on an equally disturbing question.
"My brother? Is he here? Is he okay?"
The woman didn't reply at first. She fiddled with Jamie's drip, reassuring herself it was fixed securely to his arm.
"Do you know anything? Please tell me," he asked again trying to make eye contact with her but she refused to look at him.
"You need to get some rest. I'll make sure Doctor Prinse stops by on his rounds."
Her reticence was a sign of hopelessness. Protection from the truth. The truth being that his brother didn't survive the crash.
As the woman walked away from his bed a lone tear escaped Jamie's eye and dripped passed his ear and onto the pillow. He was numb. He glanced up at the heart monitor beside his bed and watched it beep. Willing it to slow down and stop. Willing himself to die before he had to embrace the pain of what happened.
"You're not goin' anywhere yet," said a voice beside him.
Jamie glanced over toward the best next to his. An elderly man with thin wisps of white hair was resting on the edge of his bed, looking directly at Jamie.
An image flashed, once more, through Jamie's minds eye. The elderly man was lying in a bed surrounded by lots of photographs; photographs hanging on the wall, photographs propped up on the beside cabinet, photographs from an album strewn across the bed sheets. His eyes were open, his mouth was open, but there was no breath, no life.
Jamie shook the vision from his head.
"You're a young sort. Strong an' that," said the old man. "Better than me. My heart'll give out soon enough. That's for sure. But I suppose you know that."
Jamie frowned. "What do you mean?"
The man stared back at him. His eyes were steely and hard, as though they were looking not just at Jamie but inside him too. A wry smile drew on his face before he turned and climbed back into his bed.
"Blessings or curses, ma lad, blessings or curses," he said.
What was he talking about? Blessings or curses? Jamie didn't know. As he pondered the words, lying back in his bed and staring up at the polystyrene tiled ceiling, he felt his eyes get heavy. His body slumped, his muscles relaxed and gradually, gradually the lids closed over his eyes like a black cloak.
When he awoke the ward was dark. The lights were out and the curtains drawn. Through the silence he could hear sobbing coming from outside the ward.
"You awake lad," said the old man next to him.
Jamie looked over. The man was sat up in his bed, looking over at Jamie.
"Yeah," said Jamie. "Is someone crying?"
The old man flicked his head, motioning for Jamie to look toward the ward door. On the other side were a couple of nurses. One was consoling the other with an arm around the other's shoulder.
"A nurse was killed, couple of hours ago when she left the 'ospital. But yer know that don't yer?"
"What do you mean? How would I know?"
"You know 'ow she died, don't yer. Or do I need to tell yer."
Jamie turned away from the old man and stared down at the white sheets of his bed.
"What did you mean when you said blessings or curses?"
"You came back from dead. I over'eard the doctors talkin' about yer."
"What's that got to do with it?"
"Everythin' ma lad, everythin'. You survived. Yer brother didn't. Some people say that sometimes, sometimes them that survive an accident, disaster, whatever you want to call it, come back from dead with either a gift or a curse. The question is which one?"
Jamie leaned over the edge of his bed, closer to the old man. "I saw her death, in my head. I saw it as though I was standing right in front of her," he whispered.
"I know, lad."
"How do I know if it's a blessing or a curse then, these visions?"
The old man's expression turned serious, stern. His eyes widened and his mouth drooped. "Where you in the visions, lad? Did you 'elp?"
Jamie shook his head. He never saw himself in either the vision of the nurse or the old man. He was always looking at it through his eyes.
"Then there's yer answer," the old man said before lying back down and turning his back to Jamie. "God be with yer, lad."