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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Paddy the canine olympian

It's not often that you find dogs entering into the Olympics but in the year the Games were held in China the Olympic Committee decided to honour it a most unusual way. You see it happened to be the Year of the Dog, in the Chinese Zodiac and so decreed that one worthy dog would be allowed to compete in one of the games alongside humans.
The newspapers and television stations ridiculed the proposal saying the Committee was turning the Games into Crufts, but competitors and the public alike thought it was a marvelous idea.
From all over the world dogs of all breeds, colours and countries were entered into the games; running, swimming and jumping alongside humans. But of all of them one competitor stood out. His name was Paddy and he had three legs.
Officials overseeing the 100m race were hesitant about Paddy competing against able bodied humans in that class but Paddy's owner, Leyla, protested that Paddy was the best in his class.
"He's the fastest dog in Scotland," she said.
"He's only got three legs," replied the race co-ordinator.
"That's not what makes him fast," Leyla said confidently.
The race co-ordinator chuckled beneath his breath. Leyla was incensed, but simply patted Paddy on the head and snatched Paddy's numbered jacket from the co-ordinator's hand.
"I believe in you," she muttered to a nonchalant Paddy.
Moments before the race began Paddy's gut began to rumble. He could feel something brewing deep down inside. It was a slightly familiar feeling that he usually got after particularly meaty meal, but something was different.
When the starter asked the competitors to line up Paddy took to his mark. Grumble, rumble, rumble, gurgle, went his gut.
"Get, set" yelled the starter.
The very moment the starter fired the starting gun Paddy's gut erupted into the loudest, most powerful and windy fart he had ever let rip. So powerful was it, that it propelled him down the race track at lightening speed, setting a new course, and world record in the process.
If it wasn't for the track barrier Paddy would have gone much further but as it was he crashed straight into it to a sudden and dizzying halt.
The crowds were on their feet, cheering and clapping for the new Olympic Hero.
Paddy smiled proudly and licked the remnants of his cabbage and baked bean dinner from his lips.

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