The four lives of Jammy

Jammy was a hamster. He lived, with a girl called Jenny, in a rectangular cage on the floor with a two storey wooden hamster townhouse to live in and a large wheel to exercise in which he never really used. But Jammy had a problem; he was always hungry. He did anything and everything in his quest for food and cheated death on four occasions.

The first was on one early December morning, when Jenny went down for her breakfast. As soon as she disappeared Jammy squeezed, in spite of his chubby belly, through the bars of his cage. On his search for food he found a coil of black cabling that was attached to Jenny's headphones at one end and plugged into the wall socket at the other. Jammy, being driven only by his eternally grumbling belly, thought it was liquorice, one of his most favourite things. He began to gnaw at the cable, but once he'd cut through the plastic coating and hit the live wires there was a loud buzz, a flash of blue-white light and then a bolt of electricity surged through Jammy's round body, which fired the hamster, like a rocket, across the carpet and back through the bars of his cage. When Jenny returned to her room to give the wily hamster his feed she found him sat on his haunches, motionless, his eyes wide like black marbles and his fur standing on end, smouldering. Jenny grabbed the spray bottle she used to water her plants and squirted Jammy with a few bursts of water. Jammy remained in a stunned position for most of the day, but was unperturbed in his quest to stuff his cheeks with anything he could get his paws on.

Jammy's second brush with death was on a Spring night when all was silent. Jammy once again squeezed through his bars and padded across Jenny's bedroom toward the large bag of hamster seed, perched on top of a bookcase. He climbed up the colourful boxes stacked against it and when he reached the top shelf he scurried over some books that had toppled over and along a clear bendy ruler that was sandwiched in-between. Jammy looked like he was walking the plank on a pirate ship, but when he reached the end of the plank it started to bend and just as Jammy was about to step off it and make his way to his prize goal he was propelled across the room and landed in Jenny's fish bowl with a plop. He could've drowned but he didn't. Jenny found Jammy the following morning floating, with his stubby legs stretched out like a star, amongst her goldfish. Jenny administered mouth to mouth (which really shouldn't be attempted on a hamster as they're incredibly hairy, their whiskers tickle your lips and you're liable to blow their nose back into their bottom) and then placed him, sopping, back into his cage.

With Jammy's expeditions ending in some sort of calamity Jenny reinforced his cage by covering it with chicken wire. However, the saying 'where there's a will, there's a way' couldn't be truer than in Jammy's case. Jammy used his teeth to bite through the mesh then used his paws to peel back the wires to make a gap wide enough for him to squeeze through. He was determined. He was not defeated. Given the house was completely empty, with not a sound to be heard, Jammy ventured further than he had ever done. Guided by his finely tuned snout he followed promising scents that led him downstairs and into the kitchen. But once again the scents were out of reach. So Jammy tried to climb up a cable attached to a heater on the floor which he was sure would lead him to the promised land of endless food. But the cable proved too smooth to grasp hold of. Jammy got so high then lost his grip and slid down. But with each jerk the cable worked its way underneath a row of cook books it was tucked behind and inched toward a bowl piled high with all kinds of fruit. Jammy decided he would try one last time to climb onto the kitchen counter. Determinedly he tugged at the cable and was halfway up the cabinet when the cable pinged out from under the cook books. Jammy, still clinging to the cable plugged into the wall, dropped down until he was inches from the tiled floor. Unbeknownst to him the cable had knocked over the bowl of fruit on the counter and as Jammy swung on the cable from side to side enormous pieces of fruit rained down upon him; apples, oranges, grapefruits, bananas and fat lemons. As incredibly lucky as Jammy was not one hit him, although there were a couple of near misses, instead he was pummelled and splattered by the smaller pieces of fruit, like raspberries, blueberries and blackberries, most of which ended up in his mouth. Jenny returned home to find her beloved hamster sat in a mound of sawdust in his cage, plump, self-satisfied and his fur a deep shade of purple.

Jammy's fourth life, as it happened, had nothing to do with Jammy's insatiable appetite. No. Jenny had forgotten to shut the cage after she fed him which Jammy usually would have used to his full advantage but someone else had other ideas, someone who had their beady eyes on Jammy ever since Jenny brought him home from the pet store: Sultan the Golden Retriever. Before Jammy knew it Sultan was bearing down on his cage, his fuzzy golden snout squeezing through the open hole. That was when Jammy's luck ran out...or was it?